Why was mummy kissing Santa Claus? An Aussiebarian perspective.

The silly season is rapidly approaching. There's even a shop in Stone Town decorated with a tree and everything.

But the real thing I learnt about Christmas came from the spice market.

We all know mummy got caught kissing Santa Claus. But until today I never realised he'd been dosing her up on nutmeg to get her into the "Christmas spirit", so to speak.

So there you go, Christmas cake spices will never be the same again, now we know they are "better for woman that given up desire for making or to fulfill their men".

;)

Aussiebarian life hack 2: instant pasta sauce

Thanks to my terrible susceptibility to supermarket sales strategies, today I came home with a jar of green Genovese pesto.

Lack of refrigeration had killed my leftover pasta sauce (which was completely awesome FYI: garlic, onion, thyme, tomatoes, tomato paste, sugar, a splash of vinegar and salt and pepper), and I was heartbroken until I realised I had pesto! Added to an equal amount of tomato paste, it turned into an awesome stir-through sauce. Nom!

Not what I thought I'd learn in Zanzibar, but I'll take it :)

It doesn't look like much but trust me on it's deliciousness :)

My phone is flirting with me o_O

I thought the the rumours of husbands thinking their wives were having affairs due to unsolicited automated phone calls from their mobile providers were at best exaggerated and at worst, poppycock.

Then I got this message:

To translate, it says: 

Close your eyes sweetie, ok open them, and read the following words:

I love you and I will never betray you. For more, dial *148*08#

Creepy much? Bearing in mind only the fumbua macho part, and not the kwa megi zaidi part, pops up on most phones when the message comes through. Not good for paranoid partners!

So there was that one. And then they decide they want to take our relationship further:

Again, a clunky translation: 

You ask me how long I will love you? The answer is I loved you yesterday, today and I will love you tomorrow, every day and forever. For more tips, dial *148*08# NOW!!

Word to the wise: if someone quotes lines from their mobile provider to you in text messages, you might not be onto a winner. Especially if they forget to delete the "for more, dial" part.

PS: I started writing this in August. Since then, Zantel has kept sending me messages, even though I never answer his calls. Ah, unrequited love :)

Swahili 101: How to say hello (just say everything!)

The one thing a phrasebook won't tell you about Swahili, or at least Zanzibar Swahili, is that they do greetings in a BIG way here. By which I mean, if you're with anyone you might remotely be acquainted with it's completely acceptable to say pretty much every greeting you can think of. So you get to learn your greetings.

Here's an example (with rough translations).

A: No problems? (Hujambo)

B: No problems.

A: Wassup?

B: I'm cool.

A: How've things been lately?

B: fine. How's home?

A: good. Are the kids fine?

B: they're fine. How's the village?

A: good. How are you this morning?

B: fine.

A: good?

B: very! And you, are the kids good?

A: they're all good.

B: thanks to God!

And now you can move on with the day

http://africaenpositivo.com

When it comes to saying goodbye, it's a different matter. Don't be surprised if the person on the other end of the phone answers your question with "ok" and hangs up. Face to face, goodnight often works, and goodbye for semi formal situations, or see you.

But don't skimp on the hellos until proven otherwise!!!

Aussiebarian Savoury Mince

I don't think my childhood would have been complete without good old savoury mince. In our case, mince, onions, frozen peas/corn/carrot mix, a bit of Worcestershire sauce (later to be joined by barbecue and soy), maybe a stock cube, and a heck of a lot of gravy. AWESOME the next day (or 3) on toast for brekkie, and unparalleled as a jaffle filling.

So I've been on a sambusa (samosa) kick for the last few days, and I thought I could kick the habit by figuring out how to make the meaty goodness inside. 

I didn't manage to get over my sambusa cravings but I did come up with something edible that I think is the Aussiebarian answer to savoury mince (no gravy powder here :( ). Next time I want to sauce it up a bit with more liquid and a bit of flour.

You will need:

250g beef mince

2 onions (about as much onion as beef is ideal)

1 small carrot

1 clove of garlic

1/2 inch of ginger

1 tbsp chopped fresh coriander

Juice of 1 lemon

1 large tomato

1/2 dessertspoon garam masala

1/2 dessertspoon curry powder (I ended up with Zanzibari curry powder: no tumeric, the colour comes from mango powder).

Method:

Prep: finely chop veggies, make ginger and garlic into something approximating a paste.

1. Fry the onions until just soft and set aside.

2. Fry the ginger, garlic, garam masala and curry powder in a little oil with a little lemon juice.

3. Add the mince and remaining lemon juice and cook until meat is brown.

4. Add carrot, tomato and coriander and simmer until carrot softens.

5. Add onion and cook until warm.

6. Serve. We had it with bread.

Creative Eavesdropping 101

Random ramblings:

I love overhearing things and imagine the rest of the story. Yesterday in the kitchen I could hear a little kid saying "apple. Apple! Apple!!!" With increasing exasperation. In my imagination, the Dora DVD has frozen at the question and answer part and he's cranky at the tv. More likely he just wants an apple, but I like my version better :)

Cute nephew type to add visual appeal. Not the one I could overhear.

From the archives: Wedding Henna :)

My only real bow to Zanzibari tradition was to wear henna on my wedding day. Which I'm glad I did, because I can't think of any other occasion for which I'd be willing to sit still in awkward positions bored out of my brain for three hours waiting for paint to dry ;) here's proof I survived!

The prettiest my feet have ever been :)

Henna hands!

Waiting for paint to dry

The henna house :)

Post-paint

Rings!

Henna hands post-wedding :)